TV Commercials of the 70's and 80's

Here are some listings of my seventies and eighties commercial compilations culled from the thousands in my collection. I'm always open to trades (VHS and DVD). Please email me (pgsaur at frontier.com) if you are interested in anything here!

Saturday, April 03, 2010

So, uh, Why Exactly?

I know that's what you're wondering. Most people skip through the commercials, or flip around channels to avoid them. Commercials suck. They're annoying, banal, stupid. Especially, you may argue, the ones that are the focus of my collection: the mostly-forgotten celluloid snippets of shameless crap-peddling that have been scraped from that cringingly-recalled epoch, the 1970's.

This is all accurate, or, as the young people say, true dat. Yet I love them. I dust them off and catalog them. I study them. I watch them repeatedly, with fascination and affection. Except the ones I can't fucking stand, such as any spot with singing children. (Maybe that Oscar Mayer kid gets a pass, but that's it.)

I'd estimate that I have between three and four thousand commercials in my collection, mainly seventies through about 1986 (with some 50's and 60's in there, and even some early 90's--not my nostalgia spot, but interesting and fun to watch nonetheless). [10/11/12 add: Lots more now...]

Commercials are designed to sell, and therefore appeal. They make fascinating time caplets which reveal not only how an era was marketed to, but how that marketing was done in its time, with technical effects and styles of storytelling clearly evolving.

Actually, speaking of evolution, it's funny--there seems to be quite a bit of zaniness on display in the older black-and-white ads of my collection, with inventive special effects and playful narratives. In the seventies, however, I find there's something of a step back, with much less absurdity and more trite, insipid ads. This evinces either a lack of respect for the viewer or a lack of inspiration on the production end. I'd guess it was typically a smidge of the former and an assload of the latter.

I have recently been working on several different theme tapes, despite the fact that I can't sell them on eBay anymore because I don't own the copyrights on these ads. Of course, no one owns the rights on these old commercials (maybe the biggies like Coca-Cola or McDonald's retain them forever, I don't know), but anyway that's eBay's policy. I still make collections from time to time because they don't take all that long to assemble and it's fun to notice odd little details that I never caught before.

I made a music-themed tape for my buddy Mike whom I've known since the fifth grade. I included any ads with musicians, plus ads that featured familiar jingles or were highlighted by music. There were tons of disco-influenced ads back in the day, so I included what I have. You haven't lived until you've seen the Duncan Yo-Yo "Disco Duncan" ad. Okay, you've lived, but not well.

Making this tape, I rediscovered a hilarious spot (from around '79 I'd guess, give or take a year) for GWG corduroy pants. It was probably the fifteenth time I'd seen it, but I suddenly realized there's a moment where... well, I'll describe the whole ad for you.

Scene: A very cheap-looking, overly-lit disco set, with glittering ball overhead and about two-dozen twenty-somethings placidly grooving and shuffling on platforms of various heights. It seems there may not have been any music actually playing as they filmed, but we viewers are treated to a generic dance riff with a female singer intoning "Movin' on a dream! Ooh, ooh, ooh! Movin' on a dream!"

A chubby, combed-over fella with tinted shades and lapels rivalling an albatross' wingspan (think a melding of Sam Kinison and Paul Williams) sidles up to a young couple and says, in an afternoon drive-time DJ voice: "Movin' on a dream, gettin' down at the disco! Hey man, how do you get down so well?"

Blond guy (think Christopher Atkins around the time he realized he wasn't getting the Blue Lagoon sequel): "These GWG Cords really let you do it!"

The guy's partner, a thin-faced, mushroom-haired girl (picture Shelley Duvall portraying Toni Tennille) says something about the satisfactory fit of her pants, and we are then treated to several close shots of snugly-waled heinies gyrating.

The detail I had never noticed before comes as the guy's butt is prominently displayed in the foreground of the shot. If you look just past him (to his front), the girl's arm can be seen with her wrist at about his belt level, and her dance moves make it look like... well, like she's doing something for him that is not typically done on a dance floor (unless maybe some ecstasy tabs, dimmer lighting and a bigger crowd is involved). Like she's awfully, shall we say, handy. Upon first noting this, I thought that I simply had a dirty mind. Then I showed it to my friend Jim, who laughed so hard that I briefly wondered about the nearest defibrillator.

Did they do it intentionally? Hard to say. Given the level of competence of the rest of the production, probably not. Too much thinking involved in planting subliminal images. Although they did throw in another odd detail: when the tag line is chyroned onto the screen at the end, the sentences appear upward; that is, the first line pops up, then the second line appears above it instead of below.(Why do I even notice these things?) It would seem a deliberate decision was made to do it that way. So maybe some thought, however facile, was actually put into constructing this after all. Or maybe everyone was just really stoned.
[1/29/12 add: Thanks to my new DVD drive, you can see it here yourself! Okay, so I exaggerated about certain details--but I think I caught the essence pretty accurately. The helping hand occurs around :21.]



It isn't a subliminal message that strangely pops up on the screen during a spot for Michigan's Buscemi's Pizza--it's an absolutely blatant act of sabotage (though one probably unpremeditated, for what that's worth).

As fifteen non-actor kids (a mere 5 of whom wear Buscemi's t-shirts) cavort on a playground, singing (ugh) of their love for said pizza with varying degrees of enthusiasm and skill, a woman newscaster is suddenly superimposed across the lower right side of the screen.

She is deeply invested in picking her teeth, dreamily digging between molars with a fingernail.
We watch her for a few moments until, it appears, an off-set monitor catches her eye.
Just as it seems she's realizing that she is watching herself unflatteringly broadcast live over the ad, poof she disappears. Presumably the heads of some cheeky director and cameraman consequently rolled. Now, I don't know who that anchorwoman is, but I would surmise that, for such a gleefully ill-conceived conspiracy to occur, she probably deserved it. People obviously hate her.

Oh, about those themed collections I mentioned... I concocted a sports tape of ads with athletes, and another one I call "Strange Figgers... Weird Figgers" (after a Groucho line). It features ads with people wearing stupid costumes, bizarre puppets, and creepy stop-motion characters. Characters such as "Li'l Softie," a tiny naked cherub-woman with a large blue hat topping her oversized head, hawking Nice n' Soft bathroom tissue. Li'l Softie has kinda like a regular woman's head, but with a pudgy Kewpie doll body, and it is almost certainly brain-damaged. It yammers on in a breathy voice about toilet paper while standing on a supermarket aisle endcap. The imagining of its everyday existence is bleak and heartbreaking.

Gruff character actor Ron Masak (he's that guy who impersonated Lou Costello, and played the sheriff on Murder She Wrote) plays his role of a regular fella out shopping with his wife with a distinctly Klugmanesque air. He encounters this Softie creature and regards it with a mixture of wariness and disgust. When it squeaks that Nice n' Soft is "softier" than other bathroom tissues, Masak repeats the made-up word with exaggerated incredulity. Soon he realizes the TP is indeed superior to other brands, and although he will only concede that the paper is "very, very soft," his demeanor turns to reluctant acceptance, his new warmth undoubtedly laced with pity for such a grotesque abomination of God's law as Li'l Softie.

For the Strange Figgers compilation, I avoided traditionally animated commercials, as that could make up a tape on its own. I did, however, include Milton the Toaster (I just find it funny to see a little girl talking to a toaster which will later have a cartoon face superimposed on it) and a Pac-Man Bread spot with the cheapest effects ever--I swear the Pac-Man looks like it's made of yellow construction paper. I haven't tested this tape out on friends yet, but I predict it would inspire lots of laughs, even without "enhancement" of any sort. (Oh, I'd recommend it, you understand, but let's call it optional.)

Drop me a line if you have anything I might be interested in for trade, or if you're looking for something in particular. If a commercial for the Hugo, Man of a Thousand Faces puppet exists and you have it, call 911 and tell them you must speak to me immediately.

Friday, April 02, 2010

LOCAL NEW YORK CITY COMMERCIALS of the 70's and 80's!

Here’s a tape for anyone who grew up in the New York City area in the 70’s and 80’s. It’s two hours of NYC area local commercials of that era. It would make a great, utterly unique Christmas gift, if you know anyone from Long Island, Queens, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Staten Island, the Bronx, or much of Connecticut or New Jersey.

This tape features dozens of long-forgotten, low-budget gems, the kind you once enjoyed--or endured--during late-night horror movies or afternoon cartoons. Some of these commercials can be found on my other tapes, but most are unique to this tape. If you fondly recall how bad some local commercials were, there are some doozies on here! There are also lots of commercials with scenes of the majestic World Trade Center twin towers, including one touting the observation deck. Having grown up on Long Island, I can tell you that watching these can be bittersweet. You may want to take that into consideration if planning to give the tape as a gift… Drop me a line if you have something to trade, or whatever...

Video quality and audio quality vary throughout the tape, but I try to ensure that my collections are highly watchable, not like the many headache-inducing tapes I’ve encountered in my years of collecting. If there’s a crummy-looking ad here and there, it’s because I feel the nostalgia value justifies its inclusion. Check it out...
 

7/18/13 note: I'm currently finishing up the extensive planning for a "Sign-on to sign-off" compilation, incorporating these local NYC ads and segments plus many others I have acquired since I created this comp. It will play in order, from a WPIX sign-on to cartoon openings, syndicated show promos, local station movie opens, evening news segments, terrible late night ads and finally a WNEW news headline voice-over and star-spangled sign-off. (Of course, there's an annoying Emergency Broadcast System break in there too.) I'm just getting started on the actual assembling of the pieces, from the best quality source material I have, so check back in a few months...

WNEW-AM- Ted Brown telling a lame joke.

WOR 4 O’clock Movie bumper - "Strategic Air Command will return."

Commander Oil - Remember the trucks with the German Shepherds on top? This ad's a little garbled, but worth it.

Two Guys

Dial Santa - Peter Billingsley.

Korvette’s

WKTU

Playworld

WABC 4:30 movie bumper

Childworld

Sasson – NY Rangers Phil Esposito, Ron DuGuay (?) and two others, skating around like a bunch of chooches.

Ritz Thrift Shop (partial) - "You don't need a million to look like a million." "Oh, thank you..."

WPLJ - (1978)

WABC-AM - (1978)

Magic Garden LP - Paula and Carole hawking a record, plus the poster and markers.

Cross at the Green PSA

Macy’s Thanksgiving

WNEW NJ Newsbreak card

WNEW Lucy card

WNEW Big Apple Minute – Bill Boggs, City Island (1980)

JFK Express - "Take the train to the plane." (1980)

Drucker’s - "Shop me last!"

Crazy Eddie - (1981)

WKHK

WNEW Merv card

WNEW 10 O’clock News card

Crazy Eddie

Brooklyn Botanic Garden - Most boring commercial ever--they don't even show any gardens!

WOR Bowling For Dollars outro

WNEW Woody Woodpecker card

WPIX Mighty Mouse outro, card

WNEW Little Rascals card

Lotto - (1982)

Ringling Bros., Madison Square Garden

Alexander’s

Great Adventure Roaring Rapids (Joe Namath)

WPIX movie - That’s Entertainment (partial)

Crazy Eddie

WPIX Movie card

WNEW News card

Mays Bankruptcy

WNEW Movie card

Colonial Yankee Franks (George Steinbrenner)

WPIX-FM

WCBS Christmas (Ed Koch, Michele Marsh, Peter Allen, PM Magazine hosts)

WCBS News

WNEW MASH card

WNEW All in the Family card

Robert Fiance School - Rocky rip-off

TSS

Woolworth-Woolco Xmas

Willoughby’s

11 Alive

Mays Xmas

WOR Kiner’s Korner (1980)

US Auto Schools

WPIX card

Nevele

1010 WINS

Shop-Rite 1983

WNEW Woody & Bugs card

WNEW Battle of the Planets (partial)

Sneaker Corner

Korvette’s

WCBS Stanley Siegel card

Jack LaLanne

Bank of Ireland - REALLY bad.

Radio City Music Hall – "Napoleon" movie

WOR Bowling For Dollars

New York Air

Dry Dock Savings Bank

Spinal Cord PSA – Yankee Dave Revering

WNEW Hogan’s Heroes card

WCBS News Brief promo

Two Guys

A&S

Herman’s Warehouse

Korvette’s Xmas

Mays Xmas

Mays Xmas Toys

WNBC Live at 5

Alexander’s Xmas

Mount Airy Lodge - Winter: "Have a fine winter time in the Poconos, with your host with the most in the Poconos, Beautiful Mount Airy Lodge!"

NY State School Bus PSA

WPIX Krofft Superstars card

Globe Shoes - Kotter-looking guy busts a shoe-oriented iambic pentameter.

WPIX Old Timer’s Game card 1983

Impact on Hunger Day - 1983, Met Ed Lynch and Met wife Sandy Swann (who's rather hot, natch).

NY Dairy Council Milk PSA

WYNY

WNEW Flintstones card

Control Data Institute

Robbins Menswear - Nice Jewish boy avers, "My grandfather gave you discounts, my father gave you discounts, someday I'll give you discounts!" (1977)

World Trade Center

Haunted Mansion in Long Branch - The scary original that ran forever.

Astroland - Coney Island

John McKean for Assemblyman

Meadowlands (John Gambling)

St. John’s College

Newmark & Lewis

Annie - Animated ad for the Broadway musical.

Two Guys

WPIX break cards - Including "PIXXX pal Felix Unger." You'd call in and play an Intellivision game on the screen, yelling "Pix! Pix! Pix!" when you wanted the spaceship to fire (or whatever the game was).

WNEW promo

Carabine (WTC)

Sasson (Vince Farragamo)

WNBC Chuck Scarborough

Toy’s R Us (WTC)

WNEW Carol Burnett card

Bob Gigante for Senator

Hudson River Day Line

Lenny’s Clam Bar

WNEW Movie card

Toy’s R Us

Fugazy

Mays

Big Apple Minute – Bill Boggs, Little Italy 1980

Big Apple Minute – Doris McMillon, Lower East Side 1980

WCBS Jim Jensen

News 4 card

Downstairs Up Record Shop

Dial-a-Story

TCI

Daily News Super Zingo

WNBC Live at 5

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

Brooklyn Special Olympics

KISS-FM

News 4 promo

Koch for Carter

Fae-Mart

Carvel – Little Miss Half-Pint Beauty Pageant .

WNEW Midday promo

Great Bear

Big Apple Minute – Gil De LaMadrid, Staten Island Ferry 1980 (WTC)

WOR Editorial (partial)

WINS-AM (WTC)

TSS Xmas

Playworld

Martin Paint

Carter NY Primary

Kaufman Carpet

11 Alive

WAPP

WABC-AM (Yogi Berra)

QP’s and Ceaser’s Bay Bazaar

San Michel, Verducci Leather - Early rap and breakdancing. Must be seen to be believed.

11 Alive

Dairy PSA

Avenue I Flea Market

Sam Goody

WABC

Record World TSS

Record World TSS

Sports Cards

WOR - Briefly, a young Sara Lee Kessler.

WABC

WOR-AM John Gambling & Gene Klavan

WPIX Movie promo

WOR

Mount Airy Lodge - Spring: "Have a fling in the spring in the Poconos, at your host with the most in the Poconos. Beautiful Mount Airy Lodge!"

Wild West City - Regrettably, not the one with Uncle Floyd Vivino, but the one with the old-timer asking, "Where's Wild West City at?"

New Jersey’s Got It

WABC 4:30 Movie promo

Rockaway’s Playland

Music Line

WCBS News cards

Two Guys Xmas

WOR Movie

Albert Merrill School - Jimmy Randolph escorts young women new to the big city to the AMS.

WYNY

WNEW Woody card

Prejudice PSA - "Jimmy's my Jewish friend!"

Big Apple Circus

Bike Safety PSA - Opens with kid taken away on stretcher. Officer asks kid's father if he ever taught the kid the rules of the road. "I thought he had a little common sense!" splutters the unconcerned pop. Officer chastises dad slowly for a very long minute.

Integration PSA

New York Daily News - Reagan shot, 1981.

Gloria Marshall

NYC Summer Jobs 1981

KISS-FM

WHT

Steve’s Pier 1 - In Bayville. I'm sure Jackie the Jokeman Martling got thrown out of here many a time.

Little Shop of Horrors

Koch for Governor

Lotto

Clean Up NY PSA (Danny Aiello)

Clam Broth House

Anti-Graffiti PSA - Irene Cara, Gene Anthony Ray, Mike Newlin, Hector Ramos.

Circle Line (WTC)

WHN

WNEW Woody card

WPIX-FM (Peter Allen)

Lotto

WPIX bumper

Dana Lincoln-Mercury

Carvel – Fudgie the Whale!

WCBS News

WNBC promo

Blackstone the Musical

Genovese Xmas (William B. Williams)

WNEW Scott Muni

WPIX News

Potamkin

Crazy Eddie

Brick Church

Western Beef & Farmer’s Market

WAPP

Male Shop

WNEW Popeye card

Keep NY Wet (Don Imus)

WYNY

Keep NY Wet - Noo Yawk kids implore you to "save woughta!"

Gimbel’s - Lori Loughlin.

Teddy’s - Tribeca restaurant.

WDHA

Bronx Zoo - Paul Simon heard singing "At the Zoo."

WNBC Jane Hanson

Foodtown

Haunted Mansion and Amusement Pier

Cadillac Furs

WCBS 101

WNBC News

WNEW Mission: Impossible card

Action Park

WCBS News

Rainbow Shops

WKHK - Deborah Shelton.

Hotel Seville

WOR Movie

Marriott’s Essex House

Coronet - Yes, it's those two tuxedoed, mustachioed brothers of the bad read and stiff walk. And no talking orangutans.

Collingwood Hotel

WNEW-FM Calendar

Dial-a-Joke

WNEW Abbott & Costello card

WOR Xmas

Charles & Lillian Brown’s Hotel - Featuring, I kid you not, the Jerry Lewis disco.

Ernie Anastos

Lenny’s Clam Bar

Castro Convertibles - Bernadette Castro, all growns up.

Golden Nugget Casino

WHTZ Z-100 (WTC)

SAFE Car Dealer - Brooklyn's own, with New York Cosmo Giorgio Chinaglia.

WPIX Star Trek card

Kingsburg Amusement Park

Uncle Floyd WBTB channel 68 promo

Milleridge Inn - This joint's been open since, like, 1648 or something.

MAACO

Dime Saving Bank (partial) - "The road to riches starts with the Dime."

Two Guys

Dreyfus

Queens City Savings

Plaza Olds

Flemington Furs

Record World TSS

Korvette’s

Playworld

Fortunoff

Honda of Mineola

Norwalk Factory Outlet

WRFM - Shields & Yarnell do their Clinkers shtick.

Bally’s - Joey Bishop and the infamous Roy Radin introduce some really lame Vaudeville acts.

WOR All Night bumper

New York City EXTRA!

I made this compilation as an accompaniment to the "NYC Local" collection. On that one, I tried to include as many different local ads as possible, whereas this one has many more of the familiar stores and channel ID's (some not listed here for a little extra surprise here and there).

I also included a number of national and regional spots just because I remembered them so well from my Long Island childhood that I figured others would find them memorable too. There's also quite a few Christmas commercials that I omitted from the NYC collection because I had already put them on my "Christmas & Toys" compilation. Unfortunately, there are some repeats from the "NYC Local" collection--an oversight on my part--but only a few.



Jet Net - Some junky outdoors toy, the kind with metal hinges that pinched the crap out of the web between your thumb and forefinger, usually leaving a blood blister. Fun!

Pathmark - James Karen

Mays - Summer

Fun Fountain - By Wham-O! This one always made me laugh cuz the last kid running through the fountain gets clocked by the plastic clown hat.

Korvettes - Memorial Day sale

WHN - Freddie Fender.

Good Morning New York bump, WABC

Heartbeat LP

Pulsar watches - Really racy for a commercial which aired during afternoon cartoons. ("It's the time of desire! Pulsar! Pulsar!")

Pure Gold LP, K-Tel (slight announcer flub at end)

Slinky '77 - Groovy orange shag carpet.

Star Wars Early Bird kit '77 (mailed in early '78)

Korvettes - Election Day

Mike Douglas WCBS card (Elton John in NYC)

Koch for Mayor, partial

Korvettes - car care sale

Burger King - in person, Sayreville NJ, 6/10/78

WABC Musicradio, brief

Two Guys - white sale

Look of Love LP

Two Guys - Dollar Days

Nemark & Lewis - That guy.

Mays - "Pre-Washington's Birthday sale"

Crazy Foam - robot cans ("Foam-a-tron")

Crazy Eddie - electronics

Dumb Ditties K-Tel LP - animated (Morton Meatball)

Korvette's - music sale

Music Magic K-Tel Lp

Mays - Spring menswear. Polyester vested suits, $49.99. Sweet.

Power Play LP, K-Tel ("In tune with the 80's")

Chams du Baron - The Chams man, who seems like a real turd. But discolicious!

Bonjour - A&S (to tune of Frere Jacques)

Goldiggers jeans by Jetset. Really pushing the jeans craze on the kiddies.

Crazy Eddie - Christmas in August

Ferrari Jeans - Cafeteria disco!

Crazy Eddie 84 - computers

Musicland - New Wave! Stupid!

Woolworth & Woolco - AFX race sets

Sergio Valente - Roller disco! (With, I think, Stephen Shortridge, lesser Sweathog.)

Pathmark - 30th anniversary sale, 3/28/81

Ohrbach's - Strawberry Shortcake shop ("for girls," they add needlessly). Says on-screen announcer, "There is exciting big values [sic] coming your way."

Tale Lord Jeans '81

Full Tilt LP, K-Tel (Strange, brief scene of Darth Vader watching Debbie Harry)

Spiderman Fluff Flyer - According to VO, "almost everyone" will love it. Were they worried about a lawsuit?

Superhero Power Shields by Funstuff

Burger King Star Wars glasses, Jayne Modean, until 2/2/1978

Pathmark - James Karen, 3/15/81

Mays - 9th store in Scarsdale (shortly before dropping back to four stores), shows old footage of founder Joe Weinstein

(Coupla cool quickies in here)

McDonald's sports mugs

Two Guys - Preschool toys

Luv-It clothes, Dana Plato, 1980 ("I used to dress like a real dog...")

RIF (Reading is Fundamental) PSA, Ed Asner

Crazy Eddie - Richie Rich in-store appearance, NJ, 10/22/83

Mays - Election Day (down to four stores)

Dancing Madness LP, K-Tel (Weird VO sounds like a cross between Otto Mann and Bababooey.)

Two Guys - Back to school

McDonald's grand opening, 1972. This actually aired in the Detroit area, but I recall this national spot so well (and the old blue uniforms) that I included it.

Dunkin' Donuts, Mason Reese for Munchkins. Odd boy.

Super Puff basketball. Mom pretends to play, but is really only blocking the furniture. She knows it's just foam rubber, but she can't help herself.

Burger King, Knicks tickets offer thru 12/30/78

Korvette's - Food processors and hair dryers

ABC Sunday Movie open

Shop Rite - 2/10/79

Willoughby camera, Manhattan. Really bad actor.

Carvel, Valentine's Day, Cupie the Chocolate Nut. Tom chuckles.

Great Adventure

Lung Association

WPLJ ("Caring about you and the music.")

Woolworth Woolco, Halloween (Six Million Dollar Man, Bionic Woman, Holly Hobbie)

Wallach's

Music Machine LP, K-Tel, Robby the Robot gets down.

Solid Gold LP

Crazy Eddie - Christmas

WHT (Superman, 10)

WCBS radio promo, brief

Kids R Us

Childworld

Two Guys - Race sets, Lionel trains

Mays - Christmas

WNEW card

Mays - Back to school girls

Woolworth Woolco - Albums

Ice Capades, Dorothy Hamill (MSG, Nassau Coliseum)

Crazy Eddie '83 - Stereos ("...the all-new compact disc system.")

Macy's '83 - After Christmas clearance

WCBS-FM

I Love NY Lottery - Estelle Harris (George Costanza's mom)

Mays - Father's Day

WPIX "We'll return..."

Toys R Us - Halloween (Yoda, Big Bird costumes), animation, '80

Macy's & Bambergers - Billy the Kid boys' fashions. Scott "Flick" Schwartz shops (with a guy I hope is his father) and gets way too enthusiastic about it.

Crazy Eddie Christmas

Two Guys - More preschool toys

WNEW card

Shrinky Dinks, Puffi-Fuzzi

WNEW cards

Ceaser's Bay Bazaar, Christmas

Romper Room, WOR

Bonjour - Macy's (eerie shot of WTC in background, small plane flies toward it)

Playworld - one with little kid "singing" baritone at end

Jack LaLanne - So very 70's.

Childworld

WPIX card

Coca-Cola - Christmas ("I'd like to buy the world a home, furnish it with love...")

10 jeans

MTV ("You'll never look at music the same way again.")

Tropicana, Atlantic City

Ferrari Jeans (Couple lays down, their denimed asses creating a vast horizon. You'll see.)

Rockbottom

Activision hockey, Phil Hartman

WNEW cards

Crazy Eddie '81 - clearance

Beefsteak Charlie - "Feast for One" (with creepy, cartoon-voiced nephew character)

The Admiralty, Mammoth Beach, NJ

Stride Rite, Strawberry Shortcake, Harry's Shoes in Manhattan ('81?)

Crazy Eddie '81 - Telephones

Crazy Eddie '81 - video

Mays - Mother's Day

WNEW card

Caldor - Christmas sale

Crazy Eddie '83 - microwaves ("Chicken not included.")

Crazy Eddie '83 - Christmas

Crazy Eddie'83 - Steve Miller LP, Abracadabra video

Fussy Customer Stores, NJ, animated

Joujou jeans

White Castle '80 - Serendipity Singers (check out the bad lip synching of the last line!)

Zena jeans - Boating fun with a trio of small-chested ladies. Must've been the thing at the time.

Beefsteak Charlie - Free shrimp!

Crazy Eddie '82? - Christmas

New York Telephone

Jordache - Macy's, amusement park, Radio City Christmas show offer

Sands, Atlantic City (This woman looks just like Lana Clarkson, but I can't say for sure...)

Crazy Eddie '80

WCBS news, Jim Jensen, Rubik's Cube story

Toys R Us - Christmas '76, animated

Toys R Us - Arte Johnson

Woolworth & Woolco - Christmas

Penn Estates, NJ

Better Business Bureau PSA, Abominable Snowman puppet

Kahn's Meats - animated

Phone Guard (Some NY radio announcer for a phone tap warning system!)

Weekly Reader books, Sweet Pickles '77, with animation

Chardon jeans - Larry Bird in an arcade

Penn Hills, Poconos ("For lovers only...")

Toys R Us - Superheroes in person, '80

Emerson ("Mamasan! Papasan! Emerson!")

Wildcats by Buster Brown

McDonald's - Winter Magic

The Bowery - Joe DiMaggio

Life cereal - Mikey!

Energy PSA (Earth's fuel gauge hits empty: "What then?")

Greenfield Village and Henry Ford Museum ("Time was...")

FDNY PSA, stay out of empty buildings

White Plains Galleria - Christmas

Duncan Yo-yos - Disco Duncan, one of my favorites.

Korvette's - Fall and Winter sale (read: going out of business sale)

International gourmet pan

Zimm Zamm ("Kazoo not included.")

WPIX movie card

Medic-Alert bracelets, Dana Plato

Magic Show kit, Marshall Brodein (you know, Wizzo the Wizard).

NBC stars (such as Jon-Erik Hexum and Meeno Peluce) wish you "Merry Christmas." Includes WNBC's Jack Cafferty and Sue Simmons.

Jay & the Americans Greatest Hits (with Jay Black in his electric blue satin outfit, yeesh)

Zena jeans - Bo Derek lookalike

Shrinky Dinks - Glow in the Dark

Chock Full o' Nuts coffee - Page Morton Black and Pinocchio

Koch for governor

Flemington Cut Glass - NJ, Founder's Sale

National Kidney Foundation, Gary Coleman

Lite Beer by Miller, Billy Martin

United Way - Staten Island Meals on Wheels, Wesley Walker

Reflections LP, K-Tel

Emotions LP, K-Tel

Freezy Freakies gloves at A&S

Jordache at Macy's

RIF, Carol Burnett

Lite Beer from Miller - Bowling tournament with Rodney Dangerfield, Billy Martin, Bubba Smith, Dick Butkis, John Madden, Ben Davidson, Boog Powell, Steve Mizerak, et al...

Greater NY Blood Program PSA

ABC nutrition PSA - Timer makes "Wagon Wheels!"

Lite Beer, Billy Martin and George Steinbrenner ("You're hired.")

Money Store, Phil Rizzuto

Crazy Eddie '84 - Video

Fortunoff, Lauren Bacall

McDonald's - Winter Fun

WOR news, Jennifer Valoppi, '88

WOR, Rolland Smith, '88

Avenue I Flea Market

Harrow's - Election Day Christmas sale, '88

PM Magazine - Uncle Floyd segment, '82 I think

Amityville Horror '79

Let's Disco instructional LP, K-Tel

United to Broadway show tours - actual casts of A Chorus Line, The Wiz, Annie, Dracula (Frank Langella)

Magic Cow, Dairy Association - Add drink mix to milk and then add a scoop of ice cream. I blame Magic Cow for kick-starting the obesity epidemic.

WOR 9 All Night open

Bamboo Steamer - Great for when you want all your food to taste the same.

TV Guide - Valerie Bertinelli cover, 3/5/83

Manhattan Special coffee soda - Al Passaro, Mr. Personality.

Apex Tech - That guy.

Jamaica tourism- ("Make it Jamaica, again.")

United to Broadway - casts of Cats, Dreamgirls, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, plus the Rockettes and Brooke Shields

WOR Million Dollar Movie

Carvel - Cookie Puss! (His real name is Celestial Person, BTW.)

WOR News Digest with Denise Richardson

WPIX FM - Air Supply, Will Vinton claymation

WKHK

WHT - Star Wars

Ultra Brite toothpaste - A really dumb early 80's effort to close it out.

Monday, January 29, 2007

SUPER COMMERCIALS of the SEVENTIES!

With this tape I've tried to capture the feel of that sensational decade, the 70's. (I suspect a few early 80's ads have slipped in here and there, but decades always bleed over a little, don't they?) Some have once-familiar faces, jingles or slogans; some aren't well-known or are downright obscure but were too discolicious to ignore. I've tried to note as many celebs present as possible, in parentheses. (NOTE: I have changed this recently, so I'm in the process of making sure this list is accurate...)

SSP Smash-up Derby

Kenner Screen-a-Show

Slip ’n Slide, Water Wiggle

Gnip Gnop

Big Josh - Not Big Jim... the other guy. He liked to camp it up, too.

Twirly Birds

Shaker Maker Hairy Bunch

GI Joe


Pop Fly

Frosty Sno-man Snow Cones

Battleship - "You sunk my battleship!"

Play Doh Fun Factory

Play Doh 4 Pack

Miller Lite - Pool tricks with Steve Mizerack.

Pepsi - Everyone loved Frisbee in the 70's!

Levi’s Panatela - Remember the stitching? (Charles Kimbrough)

Jeep Cherokee (Dee Wallace)

ABC Eight is Enough, Vegas (Kim Catrall)

Good Morning America 1979 (David Hartman)

Bell Systems

ABC

Pepsi - Another 70's pastime--frog-jumping contests. Okay, not so much.

ABC World News Tonight - Peter Jennings, Frank Reynolds, Max Robinson. 1979

Lowenbrau - Here's to good friends, tonight is kinda special / The beer you pour must mean something more somehow / So tonight, tonight / Let it be Lowenbrau. 1978

AMF

Goodyear

ABC Happy Days, Laverne & Shirley, Three’s Company, Taxi

Aviance - It's gonna be an Aviance night...

ABC Welcome Back Kotter, What’s Happening 1977

ABC

WFFA Dallas newsbreak - Iola Johnson, 1977

“Star Wars” - The original TV ad (in fact the copyright appears to say 1976) 1977

Love’s Baby Soft - You can try hard / You can try soft / Soft'll make him toe the line...

Mrs. Goodcookie

ABC Lucan, The Macahans 1977

ABC Starsky & Hutch, Love Boat 1977 (Kristy MacNichol)
General Motors

CBS 60 Minutes, All in the Family, Alice, Lucy Goes to Nashville 1978
ILGWU (International Ladies' Garment Workers Union) - Look for the union label / When you are buying a coat, dress or blouse...

Bell Phones

CBS movie “The Bible”

CBS

CBS Newsbreak - Marlene Sanders, 11/17/78 - Neutron bomb

Contac - Weird music, little capsules bouncing all over.

Chevrolet - '79 Chevette

Consumer info - Pueblo, Colorado. (Michael Vale)

Revlon - Cream-on blush (indeed!)

Whirlpool - Dramatic Leslie Nielsen VO.

McDonald’s - Two apparently drunken imbeciles try to say "There's more in the middle of an Egg McMuffin than an egg in the middle of a muffin." Although this can barely be considered a tongue twister, they can't do it.

CBS Flying High 1978

Ford Mercury
“The Wiz” trailer 1978

FTD Florists - That gold guy.

Fruit of the Loom - The original characters and Emma.

Bell Phones - Uses the song Feelings to really tug at your heartstrings.

No Nonsense pantyhose

Twice as Fresh

Colony Wine - Rick Marshall from Land of the Lost (Spencer Milligan?) suggests that one should drink wine for the taste because that's how you'll know if you like it.

“Manhattan” 1979

Anacin

Silkience Shampoo - Scanner photograpy. That's not greasy kid stuff!

Chicago White Sox - Na na na na, hey hey...

Clairol Herbal Essence - Cartoon hippie chick pollutes stream with shampoo.

ABC "Still the One" promo

Tickle deodorant - Giggling gals just love that roll-on.

Zenith VCR

ABC All-Star Family Feud, “Death of Ocean View Park”

M&M’s - Candy Man theme with weird guy in yellow overalls.

ABC Captain & Tennille card

Enquirer

People Magazine July 1978

ABC News

ABC "We’re the One" promo

Good Morning America - Has twenty uninterrupted seconds of the old theme.

ABC Bionic Woman, Baretta 1976

Hold Cough Drops

Saturday Night Live with Howard Cosell card- The original SNL.

ABC 1976 Convention coverage, Harry Reasoner

ABC Charlie’s Angels premiere promo, 1976

Duncan Yo-yo - Disco Duncan! Must be seen to be believed.

WCBS-FM

Perdue - Frank Perdue himself.

Schaefer - Sittin' pretty, all together in Schaefer city. Two schmoes are trapped in an elevator with Swedish stewardesses, pretzels and cheap beer. Only in the 70's...

Control Data Institute

Ken Crane’s - It seems like these cheap Star Wars-inspired graphics were once featured in every third commercial...

Polavision - Precursor of modern VCRs.

Star Phone 10000

Schick Hot Top - That red ball you stuck on top of a shaving cream can to warm your lather. You can still find them at yard sales.

Totes (Kelly Harmon)

Penguin Point

Monster cereals - I believe you even see Fruit Brute in there...

Pop Shoppe

McDonald’s - Introduction of the Happy Meal.

Sanyo - Discolicious!

L-K Restaurant - AYCE perch!

Astroland - Coney Island! Ride the Cyclone! POP--Pay One Price!

Mays - Polyester!

Picway Shoes -Back-to-school!

Coca-Cola - Bobby Riggs and Billie Jean King lookalikes battle it out over Pong in the arcade.

Treetots

Charmin - Mr. Whipple, natch.

St. John’s College - Ah, campus life in the 70's. Groovy.

Woolworth & Woolco

ABC Bod Squad: Quickfast - A glass of milk, toast with a slice of cheese and out the door to school you go. Is mom on a bender again?

Annie - The Broadway show.

Stick-ups - It may be a good place for a Stick-up, but why is that guy in a closet?

Richway

Magnavision

Jiffy Pop - Before everyone had a microwave, it was this crap or buy a popper.

WPIX cards

Day Line cruise

American Furniture Warehouse 1978

Sunkist soda - Good Vibrations!

Pizza Planet

Clearasil - With Wolfman Jack--none other, little brother!

Jack La Lanne

Alka Seltzer - Plop plop fizz fizz. (Sammy Davis Jr.)

ABC Sunday Movie opening

Burger King

WLS & Disney

New York Air

Sprite Light

Organ Power Pizza - Discolicious, with folks line-dancing to The Hustle played on a big pipe organ.

Pepsi - Intro of 2 liter bottles--refillable! It's a rip of Welcome Back Kotter with Paul Kreppel (It's a Living's oily lounge singer) as the teacher.

Jordache Wild West

“Pick-Up Summer” movie trailer - It makes you want to head to a drive-in immediately!

Lung Association

Minolta (Doug Henning)

Maybelline - Discoliciousity!

Kodak (Michael Landon)

McDonald’s - "Friends" 45 single benefits, I think, Muscular Dystrophy. With MD poster child Rocky Arizzi.

Woolworth Halloween - Six Million Dollar Man, Bionic Woman, Holly Hobbie costumes.

GWG Cords - Super-discolicious! "Hey man, how do you get down so well?" "These GWG cords really let you do it!"

K-Tel Music Machine - Robby the Robot gets down!

Aviance - Yet another Aviance night.

Playtown

Steve’s Pier 1 - A restaurant with that great dark-wooded 70's ambiance.

Clam Broth House

Circle Line - With the World Trade Center in the hazy background.

Oscar Mayer - My bologna has a first name...

Band-Aids - I am stuck on Band-Aids...

Budweiser - Featuring the Taste Buds, that nutty tribute to the wonderful combination of pot and beer. How did they get away with this?

WKTU - Discoliciousness!

9 Lives - Morris the cat.

Tabu

Jack Lalanne

WPLJ 1978

Texas Instruments - Digital watches the size of your head. 1978

Simon

YMCA (John Havlicek)

Kraco car stereo

Tab

ABC News - "The Seventies: American Dream, American Nightmare." 1979

CBS Newsbreak 1979

Preparation H

RC Cola - Me and my RC...

Kentucky Fried Chicken - The Colonel himself makes an appearance. 1978

Apple Jacks - A is for apples, J is for jacks, cinnamon toasty Apple Jacks...

Rice Krispies

Star Kist - Charlie the tuna.

Maidenform Bra

Swanson TV Dinners

ABC 1976 Olympics

ABC Wide World of Sports

ABC Hardy Boys promo

Pepto Bismol - Indi... (urp) ...gestion.

ABC All My Children promo - Has the classic soap opera move: Woman (Susan Lucci) goes to strike man, he grabs her arm, pulls her in for long, sloppy, passionate kiss. It looked ridiculous then too.

Agree - Stops the greasies!

ABC Wide World of Sports - 2nd version.

White Castle - The Serendipity Singers, whoever the the hell they are. 1979

Hostess - I think a bit of the beginning is cut off, but I couldn't resist adding this for Captain Cupcake and Fruit Pie the Magician.

Better Business Bureau - An Abominable Snowman puppet advises you to spend your money wisely.

Sweet Pickles Books - Courtesy of Weekly Reader Books, animals with personality disorders teach kids how not to behave.

$100,000 Bar - Chewy, chewy "carmel" (to the tune, more or less, of Sugar Sugar). 1979

Pop Rocks - The cracklin's what's happenin', the sizzle makes you giggle... (Ricky Paull Goldin)

Underoos

Wisk - You've got ring around the collar, you poor chump.

Clairol Herbal Essence Shampoo - You're gonna swear you've got more hair.

Calgon - Take me away!

Garanimals

Memorex (Ella Fitzgerald)

Popeil Pocket Fisherman - Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach him to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime. Sell him a glove compartment-sized rod for twenty bucks, he'll fish for an hour until it breaks.

Bain De Soleil - For the St. Tropez tan.

Sonic Drive-In 1977

Life Cereal - Even that pug-nosed snob Mikey likes it.

Energy PSA - The one with urgent music, showing planet Earth with a gas gauge heading for empty. It's scary as hell, and it was RIGHT!

Henry Ford Museum and Greenfield Village - Time was, people made their own candles, hooked their own rugs, and, apparently, went to Dearborn Michigan on vacation so they could make their own candles and hook their own rugs.

Eastern & Disney 1978

Contour Girdles

K-Tel Pure Gold LP - Announcer misses cue at end.

Pop Tarts - Milton the Toaster.

Record World - Shaun Cassidy LP's.

Look of Love LP

Hawaiian Punch - Punchy, that obnoxious, violent creep.

Burger King - Star Wars glasses, 1978

McDonald’s - The stock grand opening ad, showing the old blue uniforms. 1972

Star Trek Command Communication Console 1976

ABC Brady Bunch - Mid-seventies promo.

ABC Sixth Sense - Creepy promo for short-lived Gary Collins series.

ABC Monday Night Football - Jazzy!

Energized Spiderman figure

Hardy Boys dolls

Honda Scooter

Tootsie Pop - Mr. Turtle and Wise Old Owl offer no help whatsoever in ascertaining the number of licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. Modern science will later determine the answer as 411.

CBS In The News intro- Okay, it's one from the eighties, but it has the same voiceover guy and that great computery theme which effectively announced, "Okay, cartoons are over--get your ass off the floor, put your cereal bowl in the sink and go outside and get some fresh air fer crying out loud!"

ABC Time For Timer “You are what you eat”

ABC Schoolhouse Rock intro and outro

Keep America Beautiful PSA 1971

Humane Society PSA

Forest Service PSA

Korvette’s

Burger King

WOR Bowling for Dollars promo - NYC, Larry Kenney

Dairy PSA

Buscemi’s Pizza - All-time classic from Detroit... Dumb ad, but suddenly you see a local anchorwoman superimposed over the screen, picking her teeth! No doubt it was some director doing it as a goof, but then the anchorwoman looks to the side, presumably at a monitor, and the image disappears! I bet heads rolled for that one...

Ritz Thrift Shop - Played in NYC forever.

Cross at the Green PSA

Empty Buildings PSA

Downstairs Up Record Shop

ABC Partridge Family - Jeez, Danny Bonaduce was never funny.

Burger King

Chams Du Baron

Albert Merrill School

WPIX

Trix - Trix rabbit does his Fonzie impression.

Burger King (Patrick Swayze)

McDonald’s

ABC Time For Timer “Wagon Wheels” - I hanker fer a hunka cheese!

Monday, January 08, 2007

Looking For Someone?

I just wanted to mention that I have many thousands of commercials from the seventies and eighties that are not listed here. If you are looking for a particular celebrity, I may have more with them. For instance, on my New York City local tape, I have the Dial-A-Santa ad with A Christmas Story's Peter Billingsley. If you were interested, I also have him in three or four Hershey's Syrup "Messy Marvin" spots, as well as ads for Longacre Franks, Curad bandages, Lifesavers, the Darth Vader collector's case, and McDonald's. So email me if you are looking for anyone in particular, you might be surprised...

Sunday, December 10, 2006

CELEBRITY COMMERCIALS of the 70's and 80's!

This collection features many stars before they were famous, as well as many familiar as spokepersons. You'll see:

  • Courteney Cox-Arquette, Heather Locklear, Chris Melloni, Farrah Fawcett-Majors and Kate Capshaw selling shampoo...
  • Little Drew Barrymore, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Joey Lawrence, Christian Slater, Seth Green, Shawnee Smith, Fred Savage, Corey Feldman and Ralphie and Flick before "A Christmas Story"...
  • Very young Ellen DeGeneres, Matt LeBlanc, Meg Ryan, Andie MacDowell, Famke Janssen, Sela Ward, John Goodman, Phoebe Cates, Elisabeth Shue, Cynthia Nixon, Farrah Fawcett, Jaclyn Smith, Cheryl Ladd, Catherine O’Hara, Lori Loughlin, Yasmine Bleeth, Ally Sheedy, Ralph Macchio, and Kathie Lee Gifford...

Oxywash (Phoebe Cates, Elisabeth Shue)
Chapstick (Dr. J, Scott Schwartz)
Aim (Meg Ryan)
Dristan (Catherine O’Hara)
Montclair (Arthur Ashe, Cybill Shepherd)
Crisco (Loretta Lynn)
Gimbel’s (Lori Loughlin)
Twix (Chris Knight)
High Point (Lauren Bacall)
Milky Way (Connie Newton)
Canon (Mia Sara)
Pac-Man Vitamins (Fred Savage)
Sugar Smacks (Keith Coogan)
Ajax (Eugene Roche)
Showermate (Don Meredith)
Schaefer (Dan Lauria)
Yankee Franks (George Steinbrenner)
Faberge (Kate Capshaw)
Crush (Craig Sheffer)
Ford (Leeann Hunley)
Toys R Us (Arte Johnson)
Ace Hardware (Suzanne Somers)
Charmin (Robby the Robot)
Foamy (Ralph Kiner)
Milk (Jim Varney)
Smith Bros. (Chris Elliot)
Northern (Drew Barrymore)
Sasson (Roy Orbison)
A1 (David Ruprecht)
Burger King (Emmanuel Lewis)
Parkay (Deacon Jones)
A&W (Ian Ziering)
Chardon (Larry Bird)
Alphabits (Doug McKeon)
McDonald’s (Shawnee Smith)
76 Gas (Tommy Lasorda)
Wesson (Florence Henderson)
AFX (Ricky Paull Goldin)
Luv It (Dana Plato)
Blue Bonnet (George Savalas, Esther Rolle, Herve Villechaize)
RIF (Ed Asner)
Heinz (Matt LeBlanc)
Fresh Prince Hotline (Will Smith)
DC Follies (Mike Tyson, Don King)
WABC (Yogi Berra)
Treesweet (OJ Simpson)
Oreo (Jaleel White)
NCR (Dom DeLuise, Paul Dooley)
FGS (Wayland Flowers & Madame)
Dunkin’ Donuts (Mason Reese)
Summit (Kathie Lee Gifford)
Minolta (Bruce Jenner)
Natural Light (Walt Frazier, Norm Crosby)
GE (Harry Anderson)
Scotowels (Mae Questel)
Pepsi (Gabe Kaplan)
Celebrity Jeans (Teddy Pendergrass)
Trapper Keeper (Lori Loughlin)
MTV (Pete Townsend, Mick Jagger, Stevie Nicks)
Graffiti PSA (Irene Cara, etc.)
WPIX (Peter Allen)
D-Con (Muhammad Ali)
7 Up (Geoffrey Holder)
Fed Ex (Stephen Tobolowsky)
Polaroid (Muppets)
BLM (Crystal Gayle)
Schlitz (Tommy James, Average White Band)
Vess Soda (Ozzie Smith)
Bubble Yum (Ralph Macchio)
Yoplait (Lasorda)
Maruchan (Anna Maria Alberghetti)
Underalls (Pam Dawber)
Longacre Franks (Peter Billingsley)
Ice Capades (Dorothy Hamill)
Tic Tac (Ally Sheedy)
NY Lottery (Estelle Harris)
Farrah Shampoo (Farrah Fawcett-Majors)
Coke (Jack Nicklaus)
Intellivision (George Plimpton)
Mattel (Hal Smith)
Oh What a Mountain (Schwartz)
Caramello (John Goodman)
Sasson (Vince Ferragamo)
Macy’s (Schwartz)
Murjani (Debbie Harry)
Nair (Morgan Brittany, Rae Dawn Chong)
Newsbreak (Connie Chung)
Lee (Tony Dorsett)
Lipton (Meredith)
Kellogg’s (Mickey Rooney)
Joy (Joanna Kerns)
Safeguard (George Dzundza)
Uniroyal (Steelers)
Miller Lite (Rodney Dangerfield)
Miller (Danny Glover)
Rice Krispies (Shirley Jones, David Cassidy)
Ultra Brite (Farrah)
English Leather (Jaclyn Smith)
Pure Magic (Cheryl Ladd)
Rice Krispies (Partridge Family)
Misty (Susan Dey)
Chanel No. 5 (Catherine Deneuve)
Trident (Peggy Fleming)
Kidney Foundation (Gary Coleman)
Panasonic (Reggie Jackson)
Shake n’ Bake (Ann B. Davis)
7 Up (Gary Carter)
Dental PSA (Casper)
Bowery (Joe DiMaggio)
Chrysler (Frank Sinatra)
Kodak Disc (Gene Shalit)
Sanka (Robert Young)
King Cola (Johnny Brown)
Pet PSA (Vic Tayback)
Dr. Pepper (Scott Baio)
Butterball (Audrey Meadows)
Noxema (Plato)
Flash (Joe Namath, Jim Palmer)
Planters (Nancy Kulp)
Mad Magazine Game (Richard Kind)
A’s (Billy Martin)
Pepsi Lite (Giants defense)
Skittle Pool (Don Adams)
Aurora Derby (Adams)
Kraft BBQ Sauce (Kim Fields)
Eveready (Robert Conrad)
America’s Bankers (Holland Taylor)
Mustang (Jackie Stewart)
American Express (Gunther Gebel-Williams)
Polavision (PJ Soles)
Ban (Brittany)
Amana (Barbara Hale)
Absorbine (Donald O’Connor)
Maxwell House (Margaret Hamilton)
American Express (Bob & Ray)
American Express (Karl Malden)
Lay’s (Jack Gilford)
Rosemilk (Julie London)
Maxwell House (Vivian Vance)
Gravy Train (June Lockhart)
Firestone (Jimmy Stewart)
Pond’s (Don Ho)
Spray & Wash (Betty White)
Yellow Pages (Johnny Bench)
Commercial Credit (Jason Robards Jr., Will Lee)
Spray & Wash (B.White)
Tegrin (Audrey Landers)
Chrysler (Lee Iacocca)
JC Penney (Nancy Allen)
Ford (Leslie Nielsen)
JC Penney (Road Runner, Wile E. Coyote)
Ford (Ara Parseghian)
JC Penney (Shelley Hack)
Ford (Nielsen)
JC Penney (Judd Hirsch)
Reggie Bar (Jackson)
Bobby Vinton promo
Star Wars toys (R2-D2, C3PO)
Burger King (Dennis Christopher)
Yoo Hoo (Berra)
Sindy (Susan Olson)
Snoopy Playmate (Danny Pintauro)
Matchbox (Seth Green)
Atari 5200 (Yasmine Bleeth)
Copenhagen (Carleton Fisk)
Ultima (Lauren Hutton)
Chrysler (Ricardo Montalban)
Diet Rite (Lee Majors)
Jack LaLanne (Cher)
Head & Shoulders (Chris Melloni)
Fosters (Paul Hogan)
Grecian (Pete Rose)
Popeye’s (Ellen DeGeneres)
Raisins (Molly Ringwald)
Empire Strikes Back toys (C3PO, Chewbacca)
Theragran M (Michael Jeter)
Citibank (Dan Butler)
! Perfume (Famke Janssen)
Ramblin’ (Sarah Jessica Parker)
Anatomy Asylum (Richard Simmons)
Medic-Alert (Plato)
Hershey (Billingsley, Tracey Gold)
“Betcha Don’t Know” (Cynthia Nixon, Justin Henry)
Boy Scouts (Christian Slater)
Dark Tower (Orson Welles)
7 Up (Magic Johson, Ann Meyers)
Sears (Cheryl Tiegs)
Milk Mate (Corey Feldman)
Sasson (Rangers)
Vic Tanny (Raquel Welch)
Chaz (Tom Selleck)
Cancer PSA (Minnie Riperton)
Synsonic Drums (Buddy Rich)
Activision Hockey (Phil Hartman)
Stop Thief (Jane Krakowski)
Holiday Spa (Victoria Principal)
Fruit Roll-ups (Kirk Cameron, Jason Hervey)
Rainbow Brite (Heather Rourke)
M&M’s (Stephen Dorff)
Splashy (Sarah Michelle Gellar)
Skippy (Annette Funicello)
Chips Ahoy (Joey Lawrence)
Camay (Sela Ward)
MCI (Goodman)
KFC (Colonel Sanders)
Lite Brite (Joan Lunden )
Perdue (Frank Perdue)
Cover Girl (Christie Brinkley)
Coke (Mean Joe Greene)
Bell (Matthew Modine)
Gleem (Steve Guttenberg)
Shakey’s (Gordon Jump)
Dolly Madison (Maclean Stevenson)
Chrysler (Sinatra, Iacocca)
McDonald’s (Joe Frazier)
Calvin Klein (Andie MacDowell)
Wendy’s (Dick Butkis, Clara Peller)
Faberge (Heather Locklear)
Dimension (Courteney Cox)
Pepsi (Lionel Richie)
Pepsi (Michael Jackson & The Jacksons)

Friday, November 03, 2006

CHRISTMAS & TOY COMMERCIALS of the 70's and 80's!

This is a two-hour tape of over 200 commercials. More than a quarter of the tape is made up of Christmas-themed commercials and the rest are toy ads. Here's what you'll see: (work in progress, more description coming!)

United States Postal Service - Robert Klein, Milton Berle, Rose Marie, Willie Mays, Bobby Riggs and Lynn Redgrave behoove you to mail your cards early.

Toys R Us - "Fireplaces glowing, icicles growing, hearts overflowing with cheer, it's that wonderful season we all find so pleasing, the Toys R Us time of year! The world's greatest toy store is Toy's R Us, the biggest selection, Toys R Us... It's the Toys R Us time of year!" Geoffrey, Gigi and kids cruise around in a convertible while it's snowing (hey, they're giraffes) in this great animated spot(1976)

Ronco Mr. Microphone - The original, including "Hey, good looking, we'll be back to pick you up later!" The guy boogie-ing down the street singing "Jingle Bells" is worth the price of admission right there.

Crazy Eddie- New York City local ad. Features Jerry Carroll and stoned CE employees.

WCBS - Michelle Marsh, Ed Koch, Peter Allen & Noo Yawkas wish you Merry Christmas!

R.B Rice Sausage - Animated spot with anthropomorphic animals breaking bread.

"Casper's First Christmas" will return card

Woolworth and Woolco - The Tyco Z-28 racing set.

Toys R Us - Arte Johnson, with bad French accent, hawks the Fresh n' Fancy cosmetic kit. (1980)

Ace Hardware - Suzanne Somers helps Santa out, singing "Ace is the place with the helpful hardware man." (The last word was later changed to 'folks' for political correctness' sake.) (1982)

Mays - Mattel Electronic Football and other electronic games.

Underoos - Kids get Spiderman, Hulk, Batman and Batgirl Underoos for Christmas.

Radio Shack - Electronic games.

Dial-a-Santa - That would be 976-3636 in the NY area. With little Peter Billingsley, years before his turn as Ralphie in "A Christmas Story."

Korvettes - Farrah Fawcett-Majors Glamor Center styling head, Wonder Woman Doll.

Burger King - What kid didn't want a stuffed cloth Burger King doll?

Macy’s - The Thanksgiving Day parade and the start of Christmas sales.

Coca-Cola - "I'd like to buy the world a home, furnish it with love, grow apple trees, honeybees and snow-white turtle doves. I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony, I'd like to buy the world a Coke and keep it company..." Multi-ethnic young people holding candles sit on a hillside in the shape of a Christmas tree. Warm n' fuzzy. Or nauseating--your call. "From your bottler of Coca-Cola."

Mays - Selling Mountain King Christmas trees, plus "lovely nightgowns" and "luxurious robes" for mom.

Ronco Record Vac - See Ron Popeil himself in a cableknit sweater clean his Mantovani with this device, and a young blonde chickie shake her moneymaker to "The Entertainer." Has the familiar "Deck the Halls" tune at the end, hence its inclusion. Announcer asks, "Does dirt and static electricity make your records sound like this?" I answer, "Yes they does."

Ronco Potato Chip Maker - If you like your chips thin, greasy and dark brown, this is evidently for you. ("Deck the Halls" again...) "Also a fancy food cutter!"

Byrne Dairy - Cute local (regional?) ad using Fisher-Price Little People in stop-motion animation.

Macy’s - After-Christmas sale. (1983)

Pepsi - Pre-Cosby Show Keshia Knight Pulliam cutes it up with other kiddies making decorations.

Wendy’s - Watch the mother try not to barf as she bites into a Wendy's burger.

Pepsi - Disney toys offer. (1979)

Radio Shack - Ike Eisenman plays pong.

Hershey’s Kisses - "Inside this little Hershey's kiss..." (1979)

Mattel Electronics - Otis the drunk (that is, actor Hal Smith) dresses as Santa in a football helmet to hawk those old-school Mattel handheld games. (1980)

JC Penney - Sweaters, shirts and a seriously cheap set.

Ceaser’s Bay - Brooklyn flea market. This commercial looks like it could have been shot anytime between 1980 and now.

Michelob - "Holidays were made for Michelob, holidays were made for special friends." John Forsythe and Barbara Babcock host pals at a sophisticated, beery holiday gathering.

Korvettes - Christmas countdown, with Mego's Wonder Woman Collapsing Tower set.

Mays - Toy sale.

Crazy Eddie - Jerry Carroll in rare calm repose.

Alexander’s - "For Christmas shopping... I browse through Bloomingdale's, I tip-toe through Tiffany's, but I buy at Alexander's, I buy gifts at Alexander's... I'm sauntering through Saks, meandering through Macy's..." There's another version later on the tape.

Hill’s - The best thing about this one for Hill's toys is at the very beginning... The camera pans over toy aisles and there's a Shogun Warriors endcap! Brief, but cool!

Two Guys - Preschool toys.

TSS - Christmas sale on Dancerella and Coleco Telstar Galaxy.

Skaggs - In an old Looney Tunes clip, Yosemite Sam yells "What's all the fuss about, Skaggs?" "It's the sounds of Christmas '78, Sam!" says the voiceover, then we get a sequence of toys being noisily played. Skaggs is a chain of drugstores, so the toys are plenty lame. (1978)

McDonald’s - Great winter-themed ad with many memorable images--foosball, kid pretending to eat french fry through McDonald's window, employees in blue uniforms, and that big white bag.

Genovese - William B. Williams dressed as Santa.

Crazy Eddie - Microwave ovens for Christmas. "Chicken not included." (1983)

United - Animated spot.

Ronco Mr. Microphone - A later 80's version. Forward-thinking Ron Popeil added a brief bit showing that it works in Spanish too!

Pebbles cereal - Fred and Barney somehow celebrate Christmas. (1981)

NBC - Stars of Little House: A New Beginning, CHiPs, Voyagers (Jon Erik Hexum and Meeno Peluce), Love Sidney, Fame, Diff'rent Strokes, Facts of Life, Father Murphy, Gimme a Break, Silver Spoons and Real People (plus Sue Simmons and Jack Cafferty from NYC"s Live at 5) wish you happy holidays.

Union 76 - Character actor Richard X. Slattery (trust me, you'd know him if you saw him) in a nice, wordless Christmas interlude.

Andre champagne - Ting!

KPIX - San Francisco station bumpers.

CBS "special" intro - You know, that short bit that heralded showings of Rudolph and Charlie Brown, with spinning, colorful letters and dramatic percussion and horns... it still sends a chill down my spine!

Barbie Dream House - Long ad with Benson's Missy Gold. Believe it or not, the song heard is "Barbie Girl," but this one is to the tune of "Georgy girl."

WOR - A bunch of forlorn-looking New York City kids stand around in fake snow while "Sleigh Ride" plays.

Little Debbie

Singer - Thoughtful hubby gets wife the sewing machine of her dreams. (1977)

ABC John Denver special

Safeway

WFAA

ABC “The Nativity” (1978)

Zany Zappers - "Zany Zappers... You can flash someone you know!"

Slinky - The train, the kitten, the cat-a-puller, and some awesone orange shag.(1977)

Star Wars Early Bird Kit - The Holy Grail of 70's toy commercials as far as I'm concerned. There were no toys ready for Christmas when the movie exploded, so you would just get this certificate that you sent in and you'd get the Luke, Leia, Artoo and Chewbacca figures in the mail sometime in early 1978, like I did. Super cool. (1977)

Chutes Away - Only part of the ad, featuring Dick Van Dyke.

Socker Boppers and Silly Sword - Kids are shown thumping their Socker Boppers (giant inflatable boxing gloves) into the other kids' Socker Boppers, never making body contact. Yeah right. Likewise, the Silly Sword is not seen in action at all, as you may as well just imagine the bloody melee that results from giving these weapons to kiddies.

Alvin the Aardvark

Donny & Marie Microphones 1977

Odyssey 2

Weebles - Good Weeble Blimp and Tumblin' Weebles.

Fisher-Price toys - The rolling phone, the hopping frog, etc. (1978)

Crazy Foam

Atari - Jason Hervey and Ronnie Schell play Breakout.

Radio Shack

Two Guys - Toyland, with the Hot Wheels Scorcher Chamber.

Sew Perfect - "Snap in the cassette and sew--Sew Perfect!"

Hungry Hungry Hippos

Boomuzzle - Cheap Perfection rip. (1978)

Starsky & Hutch car (1977)

Spiderman Fluff Flyer - Essentially a Nerf plane with Spiderman stickers on the wings. Has one of those great generic instrumentals under it, very heroic-sounding, even with the wakka-wakka guitar.

Superhero Power Shields - A cardboard shield that shoots propellers. As drugstore toys went, not bad.

Burning Keycars - Meeno Peluce again!

Willi Walker

Jiggles

Tender Lovin’ Kisses

Playworld - Ground Control game, animated ending with familiar jingle: "Playworld, a world of toys, great for girls and great for boys, Playworld, where prices go... so low, low, low, low... loooooooow. Playworld!"

Toy City

Show n’ Tell Viewer

Coleco (1983)

Mr. T doll - "Mr. T! He's got legs that move, he's twelve inches hi-igh! Mr. T! He's got a real cool haircut and a mean, mean look in his eye! He's got arms that move and fists full of rings, you can pretend that Mr. T is real tough and mean--Mr. T! Mr. T!" The excitement of the song is belied by the sight of two boys trying really hard to figure out how to have fun with a Mr. T doll. Mostly they punch it or glare at it.

Etch-a-Sketch

Fairchild Video Games

Bat-Away - Mel Allen v.o.

Super Puff Basketball

Fluid Fantasy - From Wham-o, it's "the adult's toy." I'm not sure what that means, but I had it as a kid and it was cool as hell. Stoners would probably dig it too.

Tweety & Sylvester bank

SSG Flyer

Princess Make-up - See twelve-year-olds makin' time at the roller disco!

Q-Bert - Animated. (1983)

Astroblast - "You give missles the muscle!" (1978)

Scree-echers Spiderman Vs. The Fly Race Set - I had this. It ruled. But kinda sucked too. (1977)

Collision Crossing - Tyco racing set with the glow-in-the-dark bridge.

Gorgeous Creatures - Very strange toy. Drag queen dolls with animal heads.

Grabbin’ Dragons

Strawberry Shortcake Garden House

Toys R Us 1981

Viewmaster Showbeam Projector

Sound FX Machine

Reggie Jackson Junior Batting Trainer

Charlie’s Angels Van

Barbie Star Traveler Van - With Judy Strangis, best known as Dyna-girl to Dierde Hall's Electra Woman. (1976)

Command Drive Dirt Bike - I had it. It ruled.

Flying Aces - (1975)

Two Guys

Fat Wheels

Weird Doh

SSP Smash-Up Derby

Sonic Ear

Childworld

Alpha Probe

ABC bumper

Darth Vader case

Puffi Fuzzi Shrinky Dinks

Dukes of Hazzard Finger Racers

Odyssey 2 KC Munchkin - Pac-Man rip-off, subject of well-deserved litigation, and lots of fun.

Playworld

Magic Sand

See n’ Drive - (1978)

Hulk Rage Cage - Inflate a rubber Hulk until it breaks out of cage. Repeat as desired.

Play Doh Dr. Drill n’ Fill

Beware the Spider

JC Penney

Battlestar Galactica Cylon Bubbler - (1978)

Slime Monster Game - I had it. It ruled. (1977)

Cabbage Patch Dolls

Playball

Rubik’s Cube

ET Toys

Monchhichi

ET Riders

Colorforms

Mighty Men & Monster Maker

Smurf Crazy Foam

Radio Controlled Hulk

Brush-A-Tune - Hilariously cheap ad for a musical toothbrush which tinkles out a verse of "Talk to the Animals" over and over.

Mr. Potato Head - (1983)

Nerf

Betty Crocker Shake Machine - (1981)

Duncan Yo-Yo

Strolling Bowling

A Bad Case of Worms - Best toy name ever. (1981)

Toy’s R Us

Alligator game - Scott Schwartz.

Zimm Zamm

Fisher-Price Movie Viewer - (1973)

Magic Show Kit

He-Man Point Dread Talon Fighter

Lemon Twist - Incredibly bad song.

Tuneyville Choo-Choo - Sterling Holloway v.o.

Hook-it

Glow-in-the-Dark Shrinky Dinks

Hook Line & Stinker

Micronauts (1977)

Slinky - Different from the other one on here--this one with lime-green shag carpeting! (1977)

Wonder Woman Dolls (1977)

Pink & Pretty Barbie (1981)

Jordache doll (1981)

ET Atari (1982)

Cosmic Ark (1982)

Empire Strikes Back figures - Zuckuss.

Castle Grayskull

Rough Riders

Hot Wheels (1982)

Nerf Boomerang

Belt Racers - This commercial is just plain odd. Two boys meet on the sidewalk, silently look at each other with big grins, then yank off their belts. The mailman looks on, horrified.

Lip Gloss Lockets (1981)

Fisher-Price Workbench (1981)

Merlin (1981)

Hill’s

Super Balloon

Activision

Ms Pac-Man

Glamour Us (1981)

Irwin Sings Sesame Street LP

Eyewitness News Game

Tuff Stuff Basket (1981)

Bargain Hunter

Dizzy Dolphin Disco

Baby Ann set

Talking Garfield the cat doll - (1983)

Smurf Riders

Hart’s

Flowerific

Contraption

Atari Asteroids

Holly Hobbie

Gimme 5 (1981)

Tobor - "Tobor is robot spelled backward." DFB.

Weeble Tub Sub

Lite Brite - With G.I Joe and Strawberry Shortcake. (1982)

McDonald’s

Nintendo Pocket Pinball

Nintendo Spitball Sparky

Charlie’s Angels dolls

Gloworm, Glo Bug, Glo Baby

Pound Puppies

Bionic Woman dolls

Slime It’s Alive - That would be the truly disgusting slime containing eyeballs.(1978)

Operation - The original.

Big Wheel Champion - Has jingle to the tune of "We Are the Champions"!

My Little Pony

Arthur’s

Hot Wheels (1979)

Chutes Away - Night Rescue.

Fisher-Price Marching Band

Invader From Space

Up Down Change Around Roller Coaster

Lego

AFX Lazer 2000

Strawberry Shortcake Berry Busy Bug - From the SS Miniatures line. (1982)

Radio Flyer

Bonkers

Master Caster

Bank Shot (1980)

Fisher-Price Jetport

Genie

Digital Derby

Kaybee

White Plains Galleria

Yo Ball

Hill’s

Lechmere

Intellivision II

McDonald’s

Fred Meyer - Long segment from KOIN "commercial-free" 1981 or 1982 showing of "Miracle on 34th Street."

Harrow’s

Cher gives holidays wishes (Solid Gold Christmas Special, 1982)

Sheena Easton (SGCS)

Old Spice

Barry Manilow (SGCS)

Lionel Richie (SGCS)

Eddie Rabbit (SGCS)